Weather, stories etc and international rules 4 men :)

Hello my readers,

How ru all ?? Hope you are as fine as I am….
Read the Info/jokes /stories and enjoy!!!!

Joke: Life After Death
BOSS : "Sipho , Do you believe in life after Death?"
Sipho: "Ack-chewully , No Sir "
BOSS : "Why not ?
Sipho : "Well , basicully , there is no proof that it ack-chewully exists,
Sir
BOSS: "Well there is proof now.
Sipho : "Hai-bo ! Seri-ass ? "
BOSS : Yes absolutely , After you left early yesterday to go to your
brother's funeral, he came here looking for you."
Sipho: "Eeishh..."

Info: INTERNATIONAL RULES OF MANHOOD

> 1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella, unless at
rugby, and your biltong is getting wet, then, for the eating period
only, it is permissible.

> 2. It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:

> a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
> b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
> c. After wrecking your boss' car.
> d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
> e. When she is using her teeth.

> 3. Any Man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed
and eaten by his mates.

> 4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend
out of jail within 12 hours.

> 5. If you've known a bloke for more than 24 hours, his sister is off
limits forever, unless you actually marry her.

> 6. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is
forbidden. However you can Complain at will if the temperature is
unsuitable.

> 7. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another
man. In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly
optional.

> 8. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the
weakest.

> 9. When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you may
ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's
playing.

> 10. You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought
her to climax. If you intentionally trap her head under the covers for
the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your
girlfriend.

> 11. It is permissible to quaff a fruity alcopop drink only when you're
sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless
supermodel... and it's free.

> 12. Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed
to kick another bloke in the nuts.

> 13. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

> 14. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

> 15. If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see
anything.

> 16. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as
spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game (can explain offside
or LBW) and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

> 17. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must
remain sober enough to fight.

> 18. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of
pizza, but not both - that's just greedy.

> 19. If you compliment a bloke on his six-pack, you'd better be talking
about his choice of beer.

> 20. Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a mate of yours,
except if she's withholding S*x pending your response.

> 21. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting
weights:

> a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
> b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
> c. Another set and we can hit the showers!

> 22. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:
i.e. Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other
situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you
need.

> 23. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer
than you are able to have S*x with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone.
Hang up if necessary.

> 24. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend"
have carnal 'drunken monkey S*x', the fact that you're feeling weird and
guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the
discussion about what a big mistake it was, occurs.

> 25.I t is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable
for her to drive yours.

> 26. Thou shalt not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, orange or
sky blue.

> 27. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for
Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets a Play
station II. End of story. >

> 28. There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's
Gymnastics. Ever.


Story: Am I A Fireman Yet?? HOW BIG OUR GOD ISStop telling God how big your storm is.Instead tell your storm how big your GOD is!In Phoenix, Arizona, a 26-year-old mother stareddown at her 6 year old son, who was dying ofterminal leukaemia.Although her heart was filled with sadness,she also had a strong feeling of determination.Like any parent, she wanted her son to grow up &fulfil all his dreams.Now that was no longer possible.The leukaemia would see to that. But she stillwanted her son's dream to come true.She took her son's hand and asked,"Billy, did you ever think about what you wantedto be once you grew up?Did you ever dream and wish what you would do withyour life?"Mommy, "I always wanted to be a fireman when Igrew up."Mom smiled back and said, "Let's see if we canmake your wish come true."Later that day she went to her local firedepartment in Phoenix, Arizona,where she met Fireman Bob, who had a heart as bigas Phoenix.
She explained her son's final wish andasked if it might be possible to give her 6 yearold son a ride around the block on a fire engine.Fireman Bob said, "Look, we can do better thanthat. If you'll have your son ready at seven o'clockWednesday morning, we'll make him an honorary
fireman for the whole day.We can come down to the fire station, eat with us,go out on all the fire calls, the whole nine yards!
And if you'll give us his sizes, we'll get a real fire uniform
for him, with a real fire hat - not a toy --one-with the emblem of the Phoenix Fire Departmenton it, a yellow slicker like we wear and rubber boots.They're all manufactured right here in Phoenix, sowe can get them fast."
Three days later Fireman Bob picked up Billy,dressed him in his uniform and escorted him from
his hospital bed to the waitinghook and ladder truck.Billy got to sit on the back of the truck and helpsteer it back to the fire station.He was in heaven.There were three fire calls in Phoen ix that dayand Billy got to go out on all three calls.He rode in the different fire engines, theparamedic's van, and even the fire chief's car.He was also videotaped for the local news program.Having his dream come true,with all the Love and attention that was lavishedupon him, so deeply touched Billy,that he lived three months longer than any doctorthought possible.One night all of his vital signs began to dropdramatically and the head nurse, who believed
in the hospice concept - that no oneshould die alone, began to call the family
members to the hospital.Then she remembered the day Billy had spent as afireman, so she called the Fire Chief and asked if it wouldbe possible to send a fireman in uniform to the hospital
to be with Billy as he made his transition.The chief replied, "We can do better than that.We'll be there in five minutes. Will you please do me a favour?When you hear the sirens screaming and see thelights flashing, will you announce over the PA system,
that there is not a fire?It's the department coming to see one of its finestmembers one more time. And will you open the window to his room?About five minutes later a hook and ladder truck arrived at the hospital and extended its ladder up to
Billy's third floor open window--------16 fire-fighters climbed up the ladder into Billy'sroom.With his mother's permission, they hugged him and held him
and told him how much they LOVED him.With his dying breath,Billy looked up at the fire chief and said,"Chief, am I really a fireman now?""Billy, you are, and the Head Chief,Jesus, is holding your hand," the chief said.With those words, Billy smiled and said,"I know, He's been holding my hand all day, andthe angels have been singing.."He closed his eyes one last time.

Well my other news is that I watched “Transporter” was quite good but I think the sequel was better.
So what do you think of Idols SA. The top 8 now are performing now next Sunday in jhb due to Kesha been the one to leave on Monday.
I am now reading a book called “Mystic River” very good and the book makes you think a lot.
The weather has been doing a complete number on us. Has been quite windy the last couple days. You can actually hear the building squeaking and stretching u know and the wind blowing through the trees and shrubs is howling
Anyway must go but…
I’ll Write again soon….I promise!!!
Remember to have a good day and 2 behave yourselves.
Ciao
Silver
:P