Stories, My weekend and jokes as usual!

Hello to all my special people,

Overcast on Monday I don’t know if that is a bad sign… anyway weekend was restful didn’t really do all that much. Read a book and watched movies.. I read the 7th heaven novel “Mary’s Rescue”. I watched “Girlfight” with Michelle Rodriguez and I watched “Chain Reaction” & “Speed1”with Keanu Reeves. All were action movies and really good. Had Nandos on Saturday and it was completely devine. Here’s some stuff for you….

Info & Joke: Corporate Lessons
Corporate Lesson 1:A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel,"After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?""It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies."Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a positionto prevent avoidable exposure.
Corporate Lesson 2:A priest offered a lift to a Nun.She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way.On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Corporate Lesson 3:A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.They rub it and a Genie comes out.The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk."I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone."Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply ofPina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone."OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
Corporate Lesson 4:A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.A rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"The crow answered: "Sure, why not."So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.
Corporate Lesson 5:A turkey was chatting with a bull."I would love to be able to Get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy.""Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the treeMoral of the story: Bullshìt might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Info: It's hard to find a friend who's.....
96% Funky
97% Sexy
98% Loving
99% Talented
and
100% Sweet
so......don't lose me, okay!

Beautiful Story: This was written by a Hospice of Metro Denver physicianI just had one of the most amazing experiences of my life, and wanted to share it with my family and dearest friends:I was driving home from a meeting this evening about 5, stuck in traffic onColorado Blvd., and the car started to choke and splutter anddie- I barely managed to coast, cursing, into a gas station, glad onlythat I would not be blocking traffic and would have a somewhat warm spot to wait for the tow truck. It wouldn't even turn over. Before I couldmake the call, I saw a woman walking out of the "quickie mart" building, and it looked like she slipped on some ice and fell into a gas pump, so I got out to see if she was okay. When I got there, it looked more like shehad been overcome by sobs than that she had fallen; she was a young woman who looked really haggard with dark circles under her eyes. She dropped something as I helped her up, and I picked it up to give itto her. It was a nickel..At that moment, everything came into focus for me: the crying woman,the ancient Suburban crammed full of stuff with 3 kids in the back (1in acar seat), and the gas pump reading $4.95. I asked her if she was okay andif she needed help, and she just kept saying "I don't want mykids to see me crying," so we stood on the other side of the pump from her car.She said she was driving to California and that things were very hard for her right now.So I asked, "And you were praying?" That made her back away from me a little but I assured her I was not a crazy person and said, "He heard you, andHe sent me." I took out my card and swiped it through the card reader on the pump soshe could fill up her car completely, and while it was fueling walked to the next door McDonald's and bought 2 big bags of food, some gift certificates for more, and a big cup of coffee. She gave the food tothe kids in the car who attacked it like wolves, and we stood by the pump eating fries and talking a little. She told me her name, and that she livedin Kansas City. Her boyfriend left 2 months ago and she had not been able to make endsmeet. She knew she wouldn't have money to pay rent Jan 1, and finally indesperation had called her parents, with whom she had not spoken in about5years. They lived in California and said she could come live with them and try to get on her feet there. So she packed up everything she owned in the car. She told the kids they were going to California for Christmas, but not that they were going to live there.I gave her my gloves, a little hug and said a quick prayer with her for safety on the road. As I was walking over to my car, she said,"So, are you like an angel or something?" This definitely made me cry. I said, "Sweetie, at this time of year angels are really busy, so sometimes God uses regular people." It was so incredible to be a part of someone else's miracle. And of course, you guessed it, when I got in my car it started right away and got me home withno problem. I'll put it in the shop tomorrow to check, but I suspect the mechanic won't find anything wrong. Sometimes the angels fly close enough to you that you can hear theflutter of their wings...Psalms 55:22 "Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved."
Well hope you enjoy those and enjoy the rest of your day
Ciao
Silver
:P