Hello, Info, Signs And sayings

Hello all
Hope you are all well!

Info: 1-16
> 1.. Some people kiss with their eyes closed.
Too bad they marry the same way.
> 2.. Smoking helps you lose weight .. one lung at a time!
> 3.. The trouble with being the best man at a
wedding is that you never get to prove it.
4.. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant
like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
5.. I always leave an empty milk carton in the refrigerator
> just in case someone wants their coffee black.
6.. The light at the end of the tunnel is the
headlight of the oncoming train.
7.. My Grandfather is eighty and still doesn't need
> glasses...
> He drinks straight out of the bottle.
8.. Tell a man there are 400 billion stars and he'll
> believe
> you... Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
9.. Behind every great man, there is a
surprised woman.
10..Advertisement: Guitar, for sale, cheap,
no strings attached.
11..Did you hear about the blonde who threw away her weight
> loss video?
Because she noticed that the people on the
> video weren't losing weight either?
12..If Tennis Players get Tennis Elbow...
Do gynecologists get Tunnel vision?
13.."Buffet". A French word that means
"Get up & get it yourself!"
14..I AM in shape... Round is a shape.
15..Sign seen in a bar:
"Those drinking to forget please pay in
> advance."
16..When I read about the evils of drinking...
I gave up reading

Joke:3 men> Three men: a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out > riding in> the car when it crashed into a tree. Before anyone knows it, the > three men> found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St > Peter> and the Devil were standing nearby.> "Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact that Heaven is now> overcrowded, therefore St Peter has agreed to limit the number of > people> entering Heaven. If anyone of you can ask me a question which I don't > know> or cannot answer, then you're worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, > then> you'll come with me to Hell."> The philosopher then stepped up, "OK, give me the most comprehensive > report> on Socrates' teachings," With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper> appeared next to the Devil. The philosopher read it and concluded it > was> correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the > philsopher> disappeared.> The mathematician then asked, "Give m e the most complicated formula > you c> an ever think of!" With a snap of his finger, another stack of paper> appeared next to the Devil. The mathematician read it and reluctantly > agreed> it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, > the> mathematician disappeared, too.> The idiot then stepped forward and said, "Bring me a chair!" The Devil> brought forward a chair. "Drill 7 holes on the seat." The Devil did > just> that. The idiot then sat on the chair and let out a very loud fart. > Standing> up, he asked, "Which hole did my fart come out from?"> The Devil inspected the seat and said, "The third hole from the > right."> "Wrong," said the idiot, "it's from my A**HOLE ." And the idiot went to> Heaven.

Beauty is only a light switch away.Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, NC

If life is a waste of time,and time is a waste of life,then let's all get wasted togetherand have the time of our lives.Armand's Pizza, Washington, DC

Remember, it's not,"How high are you?"it's"Hi, how are you?" Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia

Fighting for peace is likescrewing for virginity. The Bayou, Baton Rouge, LO

No matter how good she looks,some other guy is sick and tiredof putting up with her sh*t.Men's RoomLinda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, NC

At the feast of egoeveryone leaves hungry. Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, AZ

It's hard to make a comebackwhen you haven't been anywhere.Written in the duston the back of a bus,Wickenburg, AZ

Make love, not war..-Hell, do bothGET MARRIED!Women's restroomThe Filling Station, Bozeman, MT

If voting could really change things,it would be illegal.Revolution BooksNew York, New York.

If pro is opposite of con,then what is the opposite of progress?Congress! Men's Restroom The House of Representatives Washington DC

Express Lane:Five beers or lessSign over one of the urinalsEd Debevic's, Phoenix, AZ

You're too good for him.Sign over mirror in Women's restroomEd Debevic's, Beverly Hills,CA.

No wonder you always go home alone.Sign over mirror in Men's restroom,Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills,CA

A Woman's Rule of Thumb:If it has tires or testicles,You're going to have trouble with it. Women's restroom Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, TX


I will write more tomorrow
Ciao 4 now!!
Silver
:P