Just Jokes!!

What the letters in your name mean:

Apply the formula to your name and be honest about the answer!!
A: You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
B: You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people.
C: You definitely have a partier side in you; don't be shy to show it.
D: You have trouble trusting people, but are very honest and sincere.
E: You are a very exciting person.
F: Everyone loves you.
G: You have excellent ways of viewing people.
H: You are not judgmental.
I: You are always smiling and making others smile.
J: Jealously marks one of your traits, but you can be very artistic and
happy.
K: You like to try new things and the outdoors.
L: You like shopping; love is something you deeply believe in.
M: Success comes easily to you.
N: You like to work, but you always want a break.
O: You are very open-minded, almost never jealous.
P: You are very friendly and understanding.
Q: You are a hypocrite.
R: You are a social butterfly, loved by all, but too ready to please
everyone.
S: You are very broad-minded, studious and elect to avoid physical work.
T: You have an attitude, a big one!
U: You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.
V: You have a very good physique and looks.
W: You like your privacy.
X: You never let people tell you what to do.
Y: You have incredibly good looks and are fond of teasing.
Z: You are very strong willed and capable of intense love, but must learn
to share.

A Woman's Perspective About Men

1. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.

2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewellery.

3. Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.

4. Men are very confident people. My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the
players from our living room, and if they're really in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him.

5. Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.

6. If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

7. If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget... he didn't lose your number... he didn't die. He just didn't want to call you.

8. Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. "Get out" and "I never want to see you again" might sound like a challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, "I love you... I want to
marry you... I want to have your children." Sometimes they leave skid marks.


9. Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.

10. Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause - you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

LE STEAK

A man and his wife are seated in a fancy French restaurant for dinner.
After the waiter arrives the man says: "I'll have your biggest, thickest Porterhouse steak."
The waiter replies: "Monsieur.....what about ze mad cow?"
The man replies: "She'll have a salad."

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the
words back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the
Testimonials of a few people who did....


FIRST CASE:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and
asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a bl0w j0b?"I
turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband
didn't say a word...he knew better.

SECOND CASE:

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I
was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for
several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen
who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking,
I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

THIRD CASE:

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case,
the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No,
I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically,
the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my
Sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH CASE:

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of
her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I
told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be
punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice
just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell
Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The
silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH CASE:

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My
three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was
on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch In
between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While
enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my
seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny
had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to
go, and he said "No". I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an
accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny,
are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just
KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over
and spread his cheeks and yelled, "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FAARRTS!!" While 30
people Nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up
his Pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me
for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST CASE:

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very
embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think
before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any....? A true story... We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman
and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not
only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

The Dream :P
Wife dreaming in the midnight suddenly shouts. ''Quick up! My husband is back!'' Man gets up, jumps out of window, then realizes, ''SHOOT, I'm the husband

Hope u enjoyed these
Ciao
Silver :)